Gilbertlocks
by VampKnightLover
Summary: This is a crossover between Hetalia and Goldilocks. I got this idea when I was extremely tired..


**I don't own Hetalia or the story of Goldilocks. **

**Key: Narrator: VampKnightLover**

**Goldilocks: Gilbert**

**Papa Bear: Germany**

**Mama Bear: Japan**

**Baby Bear: Italy**

**(I know it's kind of weird that Prussia has his human name, but the Axis don't. That's because I wanted to call this Gilbertlocks..) **

Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Gilbert. Okay, he wasn't actually _that_ little. He was a grown man.. But, anyway. He went for a walk in the forest. On the walk, he saw a bird. The bird's name was Pierre. It was making an annoying chirping sound, which Gilbert found un-awesome. He threw a spoon at it's head, shutting it up.

"That wasn't very nice, Gilbert." the voice in the sky says. He looks around, trying to find the owner of the voice.

"Who are you!?" he calls out.

"I'm the narrator." it answers.

"Vhat are you doing? Vhere are you?" he asks, wanting answers. The voice laughs.

"You ask a lot of questions. Just keep walking." it orders. Gilbert sighs and grumbles about how 'Un-awesome zhis is'. He continues on his walk.

Pretty soon, he came upon a house.

"Zhe awesome me is here!" he calls as he walks in. No one answers. _'No one's here..' _

At the table in the kitchen, there were three bowls of porridge. Gilbert's stomach growled.

"Vell... If zhey're just going to let zhis go to vaste..." he trails off, grabbing a spoon.

He tasted the porridge from the first bowl.

"Ow! Zhis is too hot!" he yells, dropping the spoon. He sticks his tongue out. _'I vonder if zhe ozher ones are better..'_

So, he tasted the porridge from the second bowl.

"Oh, zhis is so not awesome. It's cold!" he says, spitting it back out into the bowl. "Eh, might as vell try zhe last one, too." he says, taking a bite out of the last bowl.

"Kesesese zhis is perfect for zhe awesome me!" he says, eating the rest of it.

After he'd eaten the breakfasts of the three Axis dudes, he decided he was feeling a little tired. So, he walked into the living room where he saw three chairs. Gilbert sat in the first chair to rest his awesome feet.

"Zhis chair is too hard.." he mumbles, standing up.

So he sat in the second chair.

"Zhis chair is too soft!" he shouts, sinking into it. After a minute of struggle, he pulls himself out of it.

Then he tries the third chair.

"Ahhh, zhis chair is good enough for zhe awesome me," he exclaims. But just as he settled down into the chair to rest, it broke into pieces!

Gilbert was very tired by this time, so he went upstairs to the bedroom. He layed down in the first bed, but it was too hard. Then he layed in the second bed, but it was too soft. (How is he not noticing the pattern? It's the same order as the chairs and it's too hard then too soft.. The third will be 'awesome'. Our Gilbert isn't the wisest..) Then he layed down in the third bed and it was just right. (I knew it.) He finally falls asleep. This is good. Now we don't have to hear him talk anymore.

As he was sleeping, the three members of the Axis came home.

"Someone's been eating my porridge," growled Germany.

"Someone's been eating my porridge," said Japan.

"Someone's been eating my porridge and they ate it all up!" Italy exclaims, bursting into tears.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair," growled Germany, ignoring Italy's crying.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair," said Japan.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair and they've broken it all to pieces," Italy says, crying harder. Germany sighs and hugs Italy until he stops crying. Japan snaps a picture of them secretly.

They decided to look around some more and when they got upstairs to the bedroom, Germany growled, "Someone's been sleeping in my bed,"

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed, too.." said Japan.

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed and he's still there!" Italy shreiks, running away, waving a white flag in the air.

Just then, Gilbert woke up and saw 2/3 of the Axis. He screamed, "Help!" And he jumped up, tripped on the blanket, got up again, and ran out of the room. Gilbert ran down the stairs, opened the door, and ran away into the forest. And he never returned to the home of the Axis. (Because they got a restraining order on him.)

THE END.

**I hope this wasn't too stupid XD Thank you for reading!**


End file.
